I Knew Puneet

It is very unfortunate that just one incident can turn the page of your life, just the way it did for Puneet Puneet.  A happy-go-lucky young man became a victim of his own reckless actions not imagining that those actions could have dire consequences. Today, he is pleading from Indian authorities to prevent him from extradition as one last hope before he gets the sentence in Australia.

Not forgetting the embarrassment Puneet has caused to India as a nation, he owe an apology to a lot of people including family and friends of late Dean Hoftsee and Sukhcharanjit Singh, who in the spirit of friendship had to bear the consequences and was jailed for 30 months on account of helping him. I do not know the inside story but I wonder why Puneet could not take a stand for his friend at that stage knowing Sukhcharan was not to be blamed for any of it. With utmost due respect to the parents who lost their son’s life, which in no way can be mended; here is another mother whose breath is hanging in 2 countries decision. There again, Puneet needs to realise the pain he has caused to his own folks and friends. His image simply emerged out as a mean reckless young man who cared about nothing but himself.

Vipassana – The Standstill Phase of My Life - (9 Oct – 20 Oct 2013)

It took me a good 1 year to wrap my brain around the concept before I even signed up for the course. I read lot of reviews about experience people had, including who completed 10 days and the ones who left it mid-way. Completely understandable, living like a monk or a nun is not for everyone. They say – you cannot do it when you are at extreme end of happiness or sadness and also if you do not see the real reason behind it. That ways, I felt, I was just at the right phase of life to do it. This was the time when I am not closed and could allow my conscious to see where the magic lies.

I called the management in Jun 2013, to my surprise, they didn’t have any vacancies until Oct and so I simply grabbed it.  Neither my friends nor my family could believe it was something I wished to do. Though, my strong head had let me stay with the idea of doing it, I cannot deny I had few moments that made me re-think about the decision.

At any rate, I thought I would write about my experience right away, but there was no way to put into words what I had been through. Apparently few relaxing weeks were also necessary in order to get out all the experience I'm about to spew on you.

I still wasn’t sure why I was there.  And I definitely didn’t know how ten days of silence could possibly solve all my problems and misery. Damn, I didn’t even know if I’d last the ten days.

But there I was.

Somewhere out in the middle of Victoria country side called Woori Yallock at Yarra.

I made the right turn towards the entry of ‘Dhamma Aloka Vipassana Meditation Centre’ and right away clicked the picture of the centre entrance board to put on fb to let the world know I was right there! Before I could refresh the page, my fb notification tinkled. It was from one of my alter ego commenting on the picture – “Turn back”. She thought I was crazy. I smiled and drove in. There were very few people around so I went on to get a first look of the centre. It was not that depressing as I thought – small cottages on a hilly area surrounded by tall pine trees gave it a peaceful and tranquil feel.

It was only post registration and parking my car in ‘female’ car parking zone I realised, I happened to do the detailed tour of Male property and not ours. I laughed at myself for being so dumb not to take notice of the tiny placards kept at small distance on the ground. But I am glad I did as thereafter I never got the chance to go in that area till we finished off with the course. This was the time when I gave away my lifeline tools (mobile and my car keys) and felt as if I have been trapped. Really, I could not go out, I could not contact anyone. No one would know what’s going on with me?? I immediately felt naked.

Happy Birthday Village Grown-up Young Boy - Bittoo

Proud of this village grown up lad who picked himself up from a little place to climb up to make this big dazzling Dubai his home. Proud because he earned it by himself, proud because he saw it all, proud bcoz he wasn’t scared to do that hard work, proud bcoz he dared to dream about it, proud bcoz he didn’t lose it during bad times, proud bcoz he created a better life for himself and his family. It doesn’t matter if you are missing on few things in life. If you look back, you would see few good times and the stories you can tell. Like it wasn’t long ago when all you wanted to was play pranks and today we see you doing big business deals. Years down the lane you will miss Arhaan’s toddler years that makes you smile today. So, as long as you have good funny life moments to talk about that makes you and others smile – Life is Good....Isn’t it?  And then there are few special days like one today and that’s about only You.

We wish lot of success and happiness your way our dear ‘Bittoo’. We wish you ‘Happy Birthday Bittoo’...Love from Our Big Clan...!!!

A Bundle Of Joy - Dushyant Singh Mor

A Bundle Of Joy!

That is what comes to my mind when I think of this boy.

If he was around you could be sure of few laughs and smiles. His smile had an aura around it. I remember this one time when we visited one of our dad’s close friend whose wife was a doctor. We were there for about 3 hours or so and the whole time she found Dushyant laughing. She commented while bidding us bye – this young boy seemed to have a funny bone.

Why Knot.....The Rule Book..???

I do have abstract, unconventional yet strong line of thoughts on Marriage & Infidelity issue. This topic discussion started this morning and I thought I need to pen down my views.

When 2 people decide to marry, they dream of a world together and do not wish to have things go wrong at any stage. Point is when you have tied the knot and are not happy. Ideally, you realised, you go separate..Simple, isn't it??  But we know it – It isn’t because it involves other lives...!!! Marriage may not be successful because of reasons other than infidelity. At the same time, infidelity can happen other than the reason of deceiving your partner as a mere ‘fun’ element. We need to understand, down the lane, we all change, our priorities change, our perceptions change but the quest is – Will the relation stay going through all of it? Marriage is a commitment zone but this relation is no good when forced upon ourselves.

I completely discard ‘infidelity’as a man or woman issue. We, by ourselves, gave or assumed that it is okay for men to go out at any stage. But when it comes to woman, no lenience expected. Also it is wrong to define‘infidelity’with the character of a person. As we say, do not judge as you haven’t walked the path. I believe, Infidelity may not happen in a relation who is not even bound legally because it is shielded by certain elements. We should be educated more on the word ‘Relationship’ rather than the word‘Marriage’ as ideally marriage should blossom out of relationship.

So, without second thoughts;  Friendship, Trust, Loyalty matters but it ‘Only Stays’when the relationship is continuously nurtured with the same intensity of “Love, Care, Respect & Understanding”. If that doesn’t happen than irrespective of what culture we belong to, we are emotional souls and we have a ‘heart’ so it would hurt..and then whatever may be the result, it will not be a pleasant one.

So for me - Marriage is not meant to be ‘Have to be done’ concept; it has been created for our own good so rather than “Entering in it with a Rule Book”, it should be regarded as something that give your life a new beautiful meaning  where there is no space for the word ‘Infidelity’..!!!

Are You Okay...???

Contentment is the biggest wealth we can have but the hard part is, it doesn’t come on its own. We need to work on it. In other words, we need to work on ourselves. I truly believe, we deserve to be happy no matter how silly we have acted in our lives, how truly stupid we have been. We deserve to make peace with ourselves.

I am wondering what under really bad circumstances, one can do to make oneself live again? What is that one thing one should be doing to have oneself back again? It is clear, you are broken, you are exhausted, you have been tore apart, there is absolutely no reason for you to breathe. The worst part is you do not wish to make it any better. Is it to do anything with acceptance? Have you ever accepted it? Accepted in a way that you understand your fault in it. You are a part of what eventually has become ‘you’ what you are today.

Let’s be practical.  I am not you. I cannot live your life just the way you can’t live mine. We are in different stages of life so we may not be able to relate to each other to the extent we wish to. We cannot be with each other as we live at different side of the town or may be continent. We cannot indulge in each other’s life on a daily basis. We may not become the best of the friends. We cannot come to each other every single day just to ask how worst was your day when we know it has been crap. And so there is no way, I can control the way you have your thoughts. But being a human, I would like to make you wear a thinking hat for your own sake when you have given it all up....

Did someone tell you, you have a beautiful smile. You are a lovely person from inside out. Why the hell would you not like to make yourself smile? Why the hell would you not like to think that you need to breathe fresh air every morning? You did whatever you were supposed to having stayed in the social boundaries as expected. But today, you are not happy. You are fighting it hard, every moment of your life, to sleep and to wake up yet again. As you said – you are on the edge. Why you strangling yourself for nothing? You have done your so-called duties and responsibilities.One day sit and dare to think if there is a scope beyond these social boundaries going unconventional way? Just once!!!

When people ask you all the time ‘Are You Okay’. We know it is fake. Understanding and Care are words we take for granted the most. Everyone here find it is easy to say – Oh yes, I understand or you know I care but the fact is we all are way too selfish to be aware of what’s happening in others lives. I am not here to give you lecture, to pretend I will help you all the way or try to be your counselor. Just take me another human being going through a shitty phase of life in its own way who can relate that things are not right for you too.

If you do not act soon, do you realize how worse it can get? How about you getting disabled or paralyzed…things won’t be any better . I am your well-wisher and I could not afford to think even for a brink that ever happen to you but this is what my mom tells me when she finds me low. She tells me – damn you have two hands and two feet in perfect condition. You can walk, you can talk, you have a heart and some brains left. Do you really pity yourself? You cannot see that in an alternative situation you become dependent for life for every little thing. So right now you do not realize the value of having freedom to be able to select your thoughts, your daily activities and your state of mind. You do not realize your potential to make it happen because all you can feel is emptiness and finding yourself as a piece of garbage.

So my dear friend, again and yet again, gauge on one thing you can take pride of and work on it, work on it harder and harder. Soon you will find your way and energy back. There will be a ray of hope that one fine day you will smile with open heart and embrace life like never before. 

Do believe, these words came from a broken heart and tearful eyes who is trying to walk down the lane with emptiness to find her own reason of happiness. 

Love is.....

Love is want to wear his shirt and shorts.

Love is making breakfast for him even when you are not an early riser.

Love is when you see in each other eyes and smile.

Love is when he takes you out for dinner for no special occasion.

Love is when he takes an off for you just to be with you.

Love is that morning kiss you get as a first activity.

Love is letting him getting drunk and you say yes to drive back.

Love is cuddling and enjoying the movie time at home.

Love is having cup of tea together.

Love is smelling his clothes and finding him next to your heart.

Love is having your feet touched.

Love is bearing his tight work schedule and waiting till midnight just to have one meal of the day together.

35 Random Things about Me

Food for Thought

This is not boasting nor this reflects that I am a self centered person. It just gave me an opportunity to introspect to know what works for me and what not.

 35 Random Things About Me

1. I see myself writing an autobiography one fine day.
2. I dream to be as an entrepreneur in Wedding Planning Business walking all over the floor with a diary, file, walky-talky and an emergency kit.
3. I keep one book next to me always irrespective of whether I read it or not. Books are my companion who tells me that there is nothing better sometimes than solitude and silence.
4. I could never have enough words to express my gratitude towards my parents simply because they changed my destiny. They define God for me.
5. I wish to do one big thing that can make my Dad feel proud of me. I feel so little when think of his accomplishments in life. I wish I had inherited his brains, determination and will power.
6. I always try to think out of the box when planning a celebration or surprise to make it extremely special to see that ‘Smile’ and ‘Oh My God’ Expression. I want to be known as an excellent host just like my mother.  For me, presentation and minute details matter.

Mother - Not Just One Word - it becomes the WORLD

You're a dependable source of comfort;

You're my cushion when I fall....

You help in times of trouble;

You support me whenever I call....

I love you more than you know;

You have my total respect

If I had my choice of mothers,

You'd be the one I'd select....!!!

Few Relationships Can't Be Defined

We didn't grow up together,

We didn't start out as friends.

In fact, when we first got together

We hardly interacted then....

But times change, situations change,

Our relationship took a new turn.

After getting to know each other

There is much we both have to learn....

One Soul To Stay Forever in Our Hearts

It is strange how for these past 9 years you regularly visit me twice a year. On a day, when you made us happy by coming to our world of hopes, and then on a day when you left us shattering those hopes. It seems you are afraid, how busy we can get in our usual daily chores that may make us forget you some day. You think so Dushyant?

Days That Brought Us JOY

Just last year, on this very blissful day of life.

My bro blessed with wonderful person,

by accepting her as his wife.

Wonderful she is,

so as my bro.

“Ma - A daughter without her mother is a woman half broken”

You were there when I took my first step,

I might have wondered what your existence meant
You smiled at me lot of times before
Then one fine day you said, “I would love you all the more”!!

The Big Moment - Now & Forever....

This one has to be for my Dad.
Thank You Very Much Dad. Not even one day I could survive here without you. 
Be assured, as now I am standing on my own feet, independent and more confident. 
And Dad don't stress, Aus govt has formally committed to take my responsibility for life :-))..!!!

Happy Birthday Dad

Each year that passes,
We're even more glad,
More grateful and proud
just to call you our Dad!

Mina Aunty

Dear Mina Aunty!

How are you doing? Yesterday only, mom told me that you all missed me being around.

 

Can you imagine how much I missed being with you when I saw those pics on facebook? I simply wished to fly down to have a cup of tea with you having a book and listening to some nice lata songs. I took few breaths and recalled the wonderful moments we had, exactly during the same time last year. My cousins told me you had arranged a party and how much they enjoyed. I saw sheriff's pic as well and just wanted to cuddle him. As everyone was together, I am sure you all had a blast.

I had to give you this good news. Finally, Australian government has taken my responsibility for life. Yes, I am an Australian Citizen now.  I heard Dad was very happy to hear it and that is the only thing I was happy about.

Winters have started here and it is only getting bad with windy and wet weather. 

My latest agenda to find a better job as I have come to a standstill in my current one.  Also, some change is required, either at personal or professional end. Winters are short and dark here, makes me feel gloomy. I do keep on doing something interesting that makes me occupied but ultimately this lonely feeling gets in and I find myself back to the square one.

Life is behaving absurd. It is strange, I do not have any major responsibility or problem but Life seems to be a dead end. I know it is a temporary phase and shall get over soon. But just when you are in that zone, you feel upset.

I miss being around family. I miss being around true friends. It seems it is a compromise here with almost everything, with job, with relationships, with people, with the basic style of life. I know I am being so contradictory. I was the only who wanted this life and I am the one who is cribbing about it.

Aren't you planning to visit Aus sometime in near future? I would be on cloud 9. 

I will look forward to hear from you.

Love Love Love

Tanvi