A Bundle Of Joy - Dushyant Singh Mor

A Bundle Of Joy!

That is what comes to my mind when I think of this boy.

If he was around you could be sure of few laughs and smiles. His smile had an aura around it. I remember this one time when we visited one of our dad’s close friend whose wife was a doctor. We were there for about 3 hours or so and the whole time she found Dushyant laughing. She commented while bidding us bye – this young boy seemed to have a funny bone.

We were 4 kids in the family – I, the eldest; then came Bittoo my dad’ sister son; Dushyant alas Junu and Aman my dad’s younger brother sons. We ought to be together for every celebration and our summer holidays and winter holidays were meant to be together. He was the heart of our grandfather whose world started and ended with him.

He had to accompany whoever had planned their visit to our village. Every person in the village knew him by face and to my surprise, even he did. I and Aman used to visit village couple of times in a year and so did not have any buddies there. But Junu did. It was amazing how he could befriend anyone and everyone.  Celebrations were best having him around. My mom often mentioned – Junu was my only son. He was the only one who loved me, pampered me. That ways I couldn't agree more, I and Aman could not express ourselves when it came to being loving-doving.

There was this strange part of his nature that made him laugh during the tragedy times. Like, I would be indifferent, Aman would be somewhat concerned but he would be laughing at it. Not only that, we could see that he wasn't doing it intentionally. He just could not control his emotions. I and Aman used to get very angry at him, shouting screaming to stop laughing but all in vain.

We all know that such a loss is beyond explanation or expression for any parents in the world but to my understanding, the one who miss him the most is our youngest one, Aman. Junu was a shield of protection for him. Aman looked up to Dushyant for every little thing. He misses his mentor of life. He misses that friend in his life with him he had experienced the best of his childhood years. He wished to grow an adult with him, to be able to share those guys stories & secrets for which Aman could not find a comfort zone with anyone in the family. Aman is not expressive but he could have been…only to Dushyant.

The main characteristic about Dushyant that I got to know was he needed people around him. I could say he was scared of being alone, might be because he never had to. He had always been hemmed with his fans, family, and friends. Everyone wanted him, everyone loved him, and everyone adored him. My mom wanted him to be a hero and he could have been. We never had doubts because he had that in him.

Everything about him was filmy, his personality, his dramatic nature. The one thing that held him was not wanting to do hard work. At one point he was ready to go to the farm and do farming.

During his last few weeks when he was breathing life, he felt very lonely. As if he knew he could be bidding us bye sometime soon. Indirectly he spoke about it. He showed his disappointment with life like never before. I could say that because he spoke to me. I was staying in a paying guest accommodation in Malviya Nagar New Delhi doing my masters. Dad was posted in Gurgaon and Aman was with living with them. At this point Dushyant was staying with Chacha Chachi in Chandigarh doing his graduation first year. He mentioned he wasn’t too happy with things in his life.  He was way too depressed that was very unlikely for a jolly person like him. I could not imagine him in that state of mind where he was talking of committing a suicide. He was depressed about what to do with his career, depressed of not knowing what was lying ahead, depressed of not having that motivated atmosphere around which he wanted. The realization that college was about to get over he had to decide what had to be the next step. He was blank. It was during one of our conversations where we spoke like 2 adults and discussed life in a weird way. In fact, when he called I was just about to share something important that was related to my life but the moment I heard his voice I was taken aback.

His death did leave an impact on us heavily but not just us. His best friend in whose arms he died was in much worse condition we could think of. The folks from our village were dumbstruck and thought of it as the end to the family. My mom’s ever loving son was gone. My chacha’s real companion was gone. My chachi’s first born was gone. Aman’s mentor was gone. Bittoo’s friend was gone. Honestly, for me, I could not figure it out till date. All I know is there is something which is greatly missing in the family when I see all of us together under the same roof. There are times when his absence kills us and we have tears in the core silence.  

 “It is strange how for these past 9 years you regularly visit me twice a year; on a day, when you made us happy by coming to our world of hopes, and then on a day when you left us shattering those hopes. It seems you are afraid, how busy we could get in our usual daily chores that may make us forget you some day. You think so Dushyant? I wana tell you little brother, that, do not feel for even a moment, that we don’t remember you. You are a heartbeat of our family and irrespective of your physical absence you are always talked about just as before. Can I share, without you; no celebration has ever been the same. Our mothers still cry at the slightest remembrance of yours. Dad and Chacha’s pain is speechless. Buas try to find your recognition when a new child is born in the family. I, Aman, Bittoo, when together, can’t stop recalling your laughs and silly pranks. These wet eyes will never get dry for you for they carry so much love that goes beyond birth and death. Have your soul at peace Dushyant because we are your family and we will always be with you”.

WE LOVE YOU DUSHYANT SINGH MOR......!!!