It will not be wrong to say that irrespective of the marriage being a love or arranged one, it stands gamble for each one of us. More than the desire of staying married is the Habit of being married that plays a bigger role in staying or getting out of that comfort zone. There are many things we don’t realise having stayed together under the same roof but they leave the mark in little small things. Even if counts to having someone next to you for the sake of presence. What I meant is even though you are unable to stay together, the concept of getting separated doesn’t come to us very naturally. We are okay to let things just the way they are, bad, worse, not acceptable, until the day one of us get that huge Moron inside us who simply throws everything aside for xyz reasons and move on. The state of being indecisive in marriage is the most dangerous and unfair to both the partners. One of the two, I am sure is somewhat do not wish to be out, as such, for being dependent or still in love. The other is merely a victim. What decides it will not work ahead? How one decides? We are unknown to our future so such decisions are just taken on few assumptions which again, may or may not, work out as we expected them to be.
To top it all, if you are not so fortunate to fall in love again, the fear of finding another person via practical ways is a big task. Thanks to the introduction of this huge Matrimonial industry that has made 2 individuals sitting across the oceans to be able to interact and find out if it works for them. Quite an intensive database they have but more than that is to be accountable of having real identities of people. This process comes with some hopes and fears together. Fears of opening up your life story to a wrong person and hopes of being with the right one. But what? Love can happen anywhere anytime....People practically learns to love each other over the period of time and then marry.... The best of oneself is being represented, but if you have been through one tough phase, all you do is lookout for loopholes. It is natural. Having known the reasons of what didn’t make your previous relationship successful you try to put each step with utmost care. You should but make sure that is not what all you end up doing.
I personally know few of my close ones who have got hitched through these matrimonial websites and it is amazing to listen to their stories and experiences. They know it all. So if you have plans on similar lines make sure to take tips and guidance from those experiences ones. There are Do’s and Don’ts of being there. Be known to them. It will save a lot of your time.
He and She together are not necessarily created in heaven today but on Matrimonial sites...and it is finding favour with parents as well...
To top it all, if you are not so fortunate to fall in love again, the fear of finding another person via practical ways is a big task. Thanks to the introduction of this huge Matrimonial industry that has made 2 individuals sitting across the oceans to be able to interact and find out if it works for them. Quite an intensive database they have but more than that is to be accountable of having real identities of people. This process comes with some hopes and fears together. Fears of opening up your life story to a wrong person and hopes of being with the right one. But what? Love can happen anywhere anytime....People practically learns to love each other over the period of time and then marry.... The best of oneself is being represented, but if you have been through one tough phase, all you do is lookout for loopholes. It is natural. Having known the reasons of what didn’t make your previous relationship successful you try to put each step with utmost care. You should but make sure that is not what all you end up doing.
I personally know few of my close ones who have got hitched through these matrimonial websites and it is amazing to listen to their stories and experiences. They know it all. So if you have plans on similar lines make sure to take tips and guidance from those experiences ones. There are Do’s and Don’ts of being there. Be known to them. It will save a lot of your time.
He and She together are not necessarily created in heaven today but on Matrimonial sites...and it is finding favour with parents as well...
1 comment:
I agree that marriages are a gamble as is life; we take chances, make a few choices, take some decisions and let the society define success while all too often not taking enough time to think of satisfaction. The primary basis of any relationship more so a marriage is honest communication, the ability to say, listen, comprehend, reply and act, but marriages have emotions and human beings are involved so conversations are difficult, often leading to one or both the parties feeling a sense of being a victim.
I also agree with you about “presence” and “separation” I believe that people are not meant to be alone, so many live in situations that can only be described as abusive. A very interesting illustration of surprising human behavior is described in the “Stockholm syndrome” and the “lima syndrome”. And yes however bad, every interaction leaves a mark on lives and personality this is not avoidable and can be converted into positive experience by willfully blocking off the negative associations.
Your writing about meeting people is extremely well written, talks of hopes, apprehensions and comparisons of the methods of meeting people. Fear of being hurt often cocoons us into not being spontaneous, which possibly prevents opening up, understanding, and exchange and may end up being counter productive in the quest. The policy I follow is not to let bad experience make me cynical. I cannot let the sad and bad scar me for live and let those color my view of the rest of the world. I guess personally I would still trust easily, but with caution not to be hurt.
Yes the avenues for meeting have changed, but guess whether you meet through parents, at a friends place, office, a party or online, guess mutual trust and respect are the basis.
Once again very well written.
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