Jinke darmiyan Guzri thi kabhi
Kal tak yeh meri Zindagi
Lo unn baahon ko Thandhi chao ko
Humbhi kar chale Alvida
Alvida Alvida
Alvida alvida Abb kehna aur kya
Jab tune keh diya Alvida............
It simply means - Now that you have bid Good Bye, I also say Good Bye..Good Bye to all the times we have spent together...spent in each other’s arms....until yesterday.
Well, that’s a lovely song but my context of writing is on different lines. It all started when I was perhaps 6 or 7 years of age. My dad appeared for civil services and was successful. Since then, every year he was required to get transferred to a different city just like an army officer, but thankfully it was within a single state (Haryana, India in his case). It was not just about changing city but houses, schools, friends, people, lifestyle and the whole adjustment that comes with it.
I never liked those brick old fashioned and not so polished houses (haha..took them for granted) but the best part was they were huge with a garden area and all facilities one could have. Every city had a different house structure, some were very huge and few others were just not that big (in all and all, always stayed in big ones). It also meant different helpers who again needed some time understanding our likes and dislikes and how my mother wanted them to do their job in respective areas. Another consequence of such a nomadic life was having changed 14 schools, now trust me that’s a lot.
It was never easy in the initial stages but later, it almost became a practice, a habit which meant expecting it to happen and if it would not happen we would start getting anxious (by we I meant me and mom specifically). Eventually, adjustment used to happen.
Changing cities is one reason why I never had any best friend until Graduation. I could not afford it. I met, made friends, had good time, (nothing majorly memorable). I was too young to understand the concept of writing letters as for me, excitement was all about the new place, new house, new room and new people. Yes, but not for the school. I always had felt that shyness when it came to making new friends at school. Reason was transfers coming into place in June and July. So by the time me and mom used to shift, it happened to be Aug or Sep. One, as a late admission, I had this huge pressure of coping up with the done syllabus and still doing well for my dad’s reputation. It used to be because of Dad’s name and position I could get admission in top most school of the city so I had to be among top 5 students in the class. Second, by then everyone already had their groups made. That made me group phobic. I never approached them to include me and be friends. If somebody comes or it happens in a natural way, it felt more pleasant and convenient. For that reason, I had people who had thought of me as arrogant and egoistic. I could hear whispers around mentioning my name and attitude. They could not understand that it was my uncomfortable level for the distance created. Even today, I am more comfortable on one on one talk with people around. I had seen myself being a part of some groups for a while and then this isolation feeling gets into my head and I get onto on my own. Moreover being the only child had a huge role to play in 'Being My Own' characteristic. I confess, me being Intimidating has come from this particular way of life as gifted by my Dad.
12th standard being important year and to make it convenient for me, my Dad did put me in Girls school and Hostel in 11th standard but Ghosh, that was a terrible year. Yet again I was made to do another adjustment -to get used to be around girls all the time. I moved out and happily said Good Bye to all out there and was back in Co-ed the very next year with a big sigh of relief. Though it was not my best school year, somehow it made me survive during Graduation which was about 3 years together in a girls college and hostel. Yes, For the first time ever I sticked to a place and you know what, Third year got tough to pass by simply because I wasn’t used to having the same people around for long time. It created some kind of discomfort in me. Now, this may be bad or not that right situation to be in but it is how it is. At the same time, this has also made me known to so many people that often I cross paths with somebody with whom I had spent a year or few months together.
I have realised that this shifting from place to place has given certain characteristics in its own way like I can survive wherever and whenever but again to get stick to one thing is not easy for me. I look out for change like a wanderer. Seeing and met people who have been at one place and one school whole of their life, I found different perspectives and characteristics from that of mine.
Graduation and then my career years have given me some great pals who will stay life long so I do feel blessed to have them.
Good Byes are not just emotional but said to be never in good tastes but somehow, I have happened to create a different perspective on it. IT IS JUST FINE WITH ME.
Kal tak yeh meri Zindagi
Lo unn baahon ko Thandhi chao ko
Humbhi kar chale Alvida
Alvida Alvida
Alvida alvida Abb kehna aur kya
Jab tune keh diya Alvida............
It simply means - Now that you have bid Good Bye, I also say Good Bye..Good Bye to all the times we have spent together...spent in each other’s arms....until yesterday.
Well, that’s a lovely song but my context of writing is on different lines. It all started when I was perhaps 6 or 7 years of age. My dad appeared for civil services and was successful. Since then, every year he was required to get transferred to a different city just like an army officer, but thankfully it was within a single state (Haryana, India in his case). It was not just about changing city but houses, schools, friends, people, lifestyle and the whole adjustment that comes with it.
I never liked those brick old fashioned and not so polished houses (haha..took them for granted) but the best part was they were huge with a garden area and all facilities one could have. Every city had a different house structure, some were very huge and few others were just not that big (in all and all, always stayed in big ones). It also meant different helpers who again needed some time understanding our likes and dislikes and how my mother wanted them to do their job in respective areas. Another consequence of such a nomadic life was having changed 14 schools, now trust me that’s a lot.
It was never easy in the initial stages but later, it almost became a practice, a habit which meant expecting it to happen and if it would not happen we would start getting anxious (by we I meant me and mom specifically). Eventually, adjustment used to happen.
Changing cities is one reason why I never had any best friend until Graduation. I could not afford it. I met, made friends, had good time, (nothing majorly memorable). I was too young to understand the concept of writing letters as for me, excitement was all about the new place, new house, new room and new people. Yes, but not for the school. I always had felt that shyness when it came to making new friends at school. Reason was transfers coming into place in June and July. So by the time me and mom used to shift, it happened to be Aug or Sep. One, as a late admission, I had this huge pressure of coping up with the done syllabus and still doing well for my dad’s reputation. It used to be because of Dad’s name and position I could get admission in top most school of the city so I had to be among top 5 students in the class. Second, by then everyone already had their groups made. That made me group phobic. I never approached them to include me and be friends. If somebody comes or it happens in a natural way, it felt more pleasant and convenient. For that reason, I had people who had thought of me as arrogant and egoistic. I could hear whispers around mentioning my name and attitude. They could not understand that it was my uncomfortable level for the distance created. Even today, I am more comfortable on one on one talk with people around. I had seen myself being a part of some groups for a while and then this isolation feeling gets into my head and I get onto on my own. Moreover being the only child had a huge role to play in 'Being My Own' characteristic. I confess, me being Intimidating has come from this particular way of life as gifted by my Dad.
12th standard being important year and to make it convenient for me, my Dad did put me in Girls school and Hostel in 11th standard but Ghosh, that was a terrible year. Yet again I was made to do another adjustment -to get used to be around girls all the time. I moved out and happily said Good Bye to all out there and was back in Co-ed the very next year with a big sigh of relief. Though it was not my best school year, somehow it made me survive during Graduation which was about 3 years together in a girls college and hostel. Yes, For the first time ever I sticked to a place and you know what, Third year got tough to pass by simply because I wasn’t used to having the same people around for long time. It created some kind of discomfort in me. Now, this may be bad or not that right situation to be in but it is how it is. At the same time, this has also made me known to so many people that often I cross paths with somebody with whom I had spent a year or few months together.
I have realised that this shifting from place to place has given certain characteristics in its own way like I can survive wherever and whenever but again to get stick to one thing is not easy for me. I look out for change like a wanderer. Seeing and met people who have been at one place and one school whole of their life, I found different perspectives and characteristics from that of mine.
Graduation and then my career years have given me some great pals who will stay life long so I do feel blessed to have them.
Good Byes are not just emotional but said to be never in good tastes but somehow, I have happened to create a different perspective on it. IT IS JUST FINE WITH ME.
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