I have been writing in journal and tearing the pages all this while. One day my Big Heart Angel (That's what I call my Mom - An Angel with a BIG HEART). I mean, I have never seen a person like her in my life. My house is generally preferred by all kids for that matter because she makes them feel like they couldn't have asked for more. I define the word 'GENEROUS' with her character. Being the only child, I have never liked that, in simple words, didn't like the concept of sharing. I hold things too close to my chest to be seen by others and if they happen to, my eyes and expressions says it all.
Okay, coming back, all these years, my life had been an open book to my close ones. Lately, I have learnt that it was not such a good thing to do. You may pay a huge cost for it, I did. Nonetheless, the one person, still I can trust for that matter, is my Angel with a BIG HEART. She told me to stop writing so much in details (you know what if someone read it) and since then I did.
Ah! this blog is nothing too personal; and there is nothing new to others. You might have heard that "Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it". Somehow for me, penning them down here (I still prefer to call it pen down rather than typing down) is very refreshing. I have absolutely no idea if it interests anyone or not, it truly works for me and I feel free. Free of my thoughts and prejudices. I feel liberated. I have no intentions of hurting or offending anyone. I am not putting it as right or wrong but just a perspective of looking at the world.
List It Down - My Daily Mantra
I thought of writing about it as that's how my day usually starts. Listing it all down. I am so over confident about the fact that it is not there on my list, it has not been done and will never be.
Some of them are:
- List at work
- List of Grocery
- List of Weekend's Tasks
- List on the fridge
- List of Clothes to be Dry cleaned
- List of Bills to be Paid
- List of the current month birthday's (so that I don't miss wishing them)
- List of Reject shop (you know those items which we can get just there)
- List of things to be fixed
- Poster on the door so not to forget about something
- List of Movies to watch
- List of next shopping agenda
- List of Shopping Accessories (basically to know what color is left to buy)
- List of Shoes currently on the shelf
- List of Books (Most favourite)
- God forbid if I happen to host a feast, it is a never ending List
- These lists are categorised like everything in my life is
What is missing in my cosy home at the moment is my work station where I can sit and spend couple of hours reading and writing and have all my stationary at one damn place. I still manage it to do so but not the way I like to. My TV couch makes me go in the relax mood rather than putting a thinking hat on. As I have been talking about my treasured TV Couch, I shall share the picture of it soon.
For now, I have to complete this task at work so I shall take your leave. Oh yes, I definitely put down the list of thoughts that are to pen down here. Like this one,
“If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”
― Toni Morrison
3 comments:
Writing is an exercise in grace, a symphony of words to express thoughts, more importantly having the luxury of thought “I have never thought of writing as hard work, but I have worked hard to find a voice.” Said a great person. It is about finding the inner strength to voice what you are about. It is undoubtedly a refreshing insight into self, a dialogue within you. I have believed that societies that live day- to day cannot afford the process of cognition.
It nice to read about your family and especially your mother, reminds me of my childhood, grew up in a joint family whole lot of people and lot of kids and yes my oldest aunt must have been similar to you mom we hid in her rooms, guess my people skills take their origins in the family dwelling; very pleasant memories makes me a bit nostalgic, a bit home sick.
Sharing thoughts and being an open book, is ironically being vulnerable and brave at the same time, while exposing yourself to the judgmental you are also brining into your circle those who are loyal. Those who understand you; will be with you and those who don’t, were never meant to be with you, it actually simplifies things. I have always thanked God for the testing times in my life, these experiences filtered out symbionts and parasites at each styage. I recollect the verses sung be Nusrath Fetah Ali Khan:
“Yaar Say Gham Keh Ker To Khush Ho Laikin Tum Yeh Kya Jaano
Tum Dil Ka Rona Rote Thay Woh Dil Mein Hasta Hoga”.
I like the statement about the shoes in your shelf, I have personally stopped feeling guilty about the numbers, stopped counting, in fact now I am just acknowledging them by colors which makes me feel great and ready for the next pair. No, just kidding I am not getting another pair, (for the next week). And off course would like to see that couch of yours looks like it helps you attain nirvana.
If I don't write I feel clustered. Yes, you are right, one needs some quality time to be able to do so.
When you sit and open the chapters to revise, to find yourself alone by the end of everything is very disturbing. Sharing meant that you would understand where I am coming from and not to be an opportunist.
By the way, beautiful lines you shared.
Tanvi there would be times in life when you come across people forget their "duty of care" actually may not have a concept of it. Clearly these people are incapable of understanding and are not equipped to think beyond an ulterior motive, but is always good to cross paths with such people, it is a learning experience you would now know that such people exist. But I do not again think there is a reason for any scepticism, by default I think human beings are trustworthy people, it is their personal circumstances that occasionally guides deranged actions.
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